


whatever a moon has always meant

by androids_fighting93



Series: never let me go [10]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Set after "build a nest of yellow yarn", bad communication what else is new lads, implied lupcretia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 12:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14080515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androids_fighting93/pseuds/androids_fighting93
Summary: This is the last cycle and Magnus has carved a ring, cherry wood and inlaid with delicate jewels and just Taako’s size and he’s carried it with him every day. It had seemed right - whatever plane they ended their journey on, that would be home, and somehow they had to begin a life here, whatever that looked like. He couldn’t think of a better beginning to that life than marrying Taako. But they’d had to build their relics and distribute them, and it hadn’t been the right time, and then they’d heard about the destruction they were causing to the world below and it wasn’t the right time. And now Lup is gone, and it isn’t the right time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've gone through the full range of human emotion while writing this monstrosity lads. I never expected it to get so damn long! They just won't stop talking!! It's 27 pages in Microsoft Word!!! So, gonna go ahead and split it into two chapters so I have a bit more time to edit the last couple scenes and so I don't drop this monster of a fic on y'all in one go. Chapter two should be up tomorrow ideally, no later than Monday.  
> This one is a big deal for me and I've been working on it for a looong time so I really hope you like it!
> 
> Title is from "i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) by e.e. cummings
> 
> \--
> 
> i fear  
> no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want  
> no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)  
> and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant  
> and whatever a sun will always sing is you  
> \-- e.e. cummings

He’s in the woodshop when he hears Johann barking from the house, and of course when Johann starts barking the whole pack of dogs they’ve quickly acquired goes off too, so Magnus brushes the sawdust off his hands - a pointless effort, there’s enough sawdust and dog hair stuck to his pants all the time that wiping his hands practically just collects more and he wouldn’t have it any other way - to see what the commotion is about. The first things he sees when he gets inside is Lup, in a blur of the bright pink that is her hair, rushing at the door and enveloping their visitor in a hug that makes them stumble back a step.

“You should have told us you were coming!” She says, giving the visitor a quick kiss on the cheek and then stepping back, and finally Magnus can see that Lucretia is standing in the doorway, looking a little shell-shocked by Lup’s _everything,_ but lifting a hand to her cheek where Lup kissed her and smiling softly. “I would have told Barry to take time off today!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Lucretia says. She looks past Lup and meets Magnus’s eyes, returning his smile. She looks the same as ever, the same regal blue and white robe that looks so strange on her to him now that he remembers the bookish young woman from their time on the Starblaster, but fits the straight-backed and self-assured leader she grew up to be. “I hope it’s not a bad time?”

“Never,” he assures her, pulling her in for a hug. He rarely gets to see her anymore, she’s thrown herself into the newly formed Bureau of Benevolence completely - he often hears from Killian how she needs to take a break once in a while, learn to let someone else do the work for a change. He’s so proud of her - he misses her. He wants to add that she's always welcome, except he knows that Taako wouldn't agree.

There’s not much that they don’t talk about, him and Taako; after so long even when they do fight it’s rarely bad enough to worry Magnus, it sucks but they always get past it. But they don’t talk about Lucretia.

As if reading his mind, Lucretia glances around while they usher her inside and Magnus takes her coat to hang on the hook by the door. “Taako isn't home?” She asks, a little hesitant.

Lup shakes her head. “He and Ren are at the school today. Sorry. I’ll tell him you said hi, though.”

“I see,” Lucretia says, eyes flickering over to Magnus for a moment before she shakes her head. “Well, maybe that’s for the best, I doubt he cares to see me anyway.”

“Cretia, don't say that,” Lup says, though they all know it's true. Magnus knows - even if Taako won’t admit it - there's a part of Taako that still loves Lucretia like a little sister, but the part of him that won't forgive her is still too strong to let go of, for now. Elves and their long memories. And he can't even say Taako is in the wrong, really, with all he had lost; Magnus has forgiven her, of course he has, but -

Well. He had pointed a sword at her too, in that moment, hadn't he, and he still remembers how angry he had been, not just on his own behalf but for all of them, for Taako and Barry and Davenport. He doesn't much like to think about that moment, doesn't like wondering how far he would have followed Taako if he hadn't stopped.

“It’s alright,” Lucretia says with a smile, patting Lup’s arm. “It’s so good to see you both.”

“I’ll put on some coffee,” Magnus smiles, beckoning her and Lup to follow.

They pass the afternoon together, have lunch and chat; Lucretia lets Magnus show her around the house to see everything he’s done to the place since she’d visited last, shows her the wood shop and Kravitz's bee hives and their tiny vegetable garden. He hears about her latest projects with the Bureau, volunteers his time where it might be needed, introduces her to the service dogs ready for homes with the people who need them.

But he knows Lucretia, and he knows when she’s got something on her mind, something that keeps her fiddling with the small satchel she carries and makes her rub at her knuckles as if they ache. So when she finally asks to talk alone - quietly, while Lup is out of the room - he doesn't ask why.

“Let’s take a walk,” he says, standing up and stretching, and she follows him silently, out across the yard and down the hill toward the little stream that marks the border of their little patch of land, the forest beyond.

She takes off her shoes and lets her feet dangle in the water, while Johann splashes happily downstream. “Over there,” Magnus points, “that's the spot we’ve picked out for Lup and Barry’s cabin, just about to start laying the foundation.”

“I’m glad they’ll be so close by.” Lucretia takes a deep breath. “I have something for you, and I need to apologize for not returning it earlier. We’ve both been so busy and… to be honest, I worried that you were still angry at me. You have every right to be.”

“We don't have to do the guilt thing right now, Lucretia,” Magnus says. “You know how I feel. And Taako will come around.”

“I hope so.” She finally opens that satchel, pulling out something that fits in her closed hand. She takes his hand and presses the item into it and lets go. “You had it on you that day,” Lucretia says quietly. “I took it for safekeeping, before I docked the Starblaster. I didn't want it being misplaced. I… knew you would want it back, one day.”

He knows what it is before he looks, from the weight of it and it’s smooth texture in his palm. The box itself is simple, deep red-stained cherry wood with a delicate brass hinge. He knows exactly what the ring inside looks like, small to fit on a long slender finger, intricately carved of that same wood, a small jewel fitted into the top and even smaller ones dotting the band. He still opens the box to look at it, the ring he’d carved for Taako over a decade ago.

* * *

**Cycle 99.**

He finds Taako in the galley, because that’s where he usually is if he’s not with Barry these days, out searching for Lup or poring over maps trying to figure where she could have gone. He’s standing over the stove, stirring a pot of something with a glazed over look like he’s in a trance. And there's a moment where Magnus thinks about turning around. Going back to his room, or taking a walk, sitting out on the deck of the Starblaster. He’s done a lot of that, lately - sitting alone, staring up at the stars and trying to remember what the constellations were back home but he can’t, now, after so long, after so many worlds. He could go and Taako probably won’t even know he was hovering here in the doorway wondering how to even begin _talking_ to him, no one knows how to talk to him these days, him or Barry, but Taako…

He always takes it hard, when Lup is gone. Everyone does, she’s like the glue holding them together sometimes, but of course it’s worse for Taako. He sleeps less, and bakes more (Lup always had more of a tendency toward baking than Taako did), and leaves spaces in his sentences for her to finish and looks lost when she isn’t there to answer; he’s different without her, harder, angrier. This is different than all those times, because back then they always knew when she would be back. This is the last cycle and she isn’t here and they’re all holding their breath, waiting for any scrap of news. It's too quiet around the ship. Merle and Davenport sit together in silence a lot, Lucretia never leaves her room anymore, Magnus patrols the ship night after night wishing this was something he could fight. Lup is gone. This is the last cycle and Taako and Barry are killing themselves trying to find her and Magnus feels selfish for thinking it but he’s _scared_ and he should be able to help but he doesn’t know how.

This is the last cycle and Magnus has carved a ring, cherry wood and inlaid with a delicate jewel and just Taako’s size and he’s carried it with him every day. It had seemed right - whatever plane they ended their journey on, that would be home, and somehow they had to begin a life here, whatever that looked like. He couldn’t think of a better beginning to that life than marrying Taako. But they’d had to build their relics and distribute them, and it hadn’t been the right time, and then they’d heard about the destruction they were causing to the world below and it wasn’t the right time. And now Lup is gone, and it isn’t the right time.

Magnus makes himself stop thinking so much and goes to him. “Taako?” When he doesn’t seem to hear him, Magnus lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. Taako makes a pained noise and startles, jumping under Magnus’s hand, whole body tense.

“Shit,” he sighs, relaxing bit by bit. He rubs a hand over his face. “Sorry, bubbela.”

“It’s okay,” Magnus says softly. He glances at what Taako is making - some kind of stew, it definitely doesn’t need to be stirred continuously like that. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” Taako says sharply. He sighs again and looks away. “Just heard - someone else must have gotten their hands on the stone. A whole fuckin’ island, just…”

It’s familiar by now, how that settles in the pit of Magnus’s stomach. He wonders if it will ever get easier, hearing what their creations have done to this world. He had wanted this place to be home so badly, he was so ready to stop, but he doesn’t know how he can set foot on it now, after all this, how he can just live here knowing what they know. He hasn’t heard a word about his own relic and privately he thinks that’s almost worse, but he would never say so.

“No word on Lup, though,” Taako adds, turning off the burner on the stove. “So. Dinner’s ready, I guess.” Normally he would shout that, after ringing the bell above the entryway, and the crew would rush in ready to gather around the table and eat and talk and laugh together. Now more often than not they drift through like ghosts, grabbing a bowl of whatever Taako might have had the energy to cook and taking it back to their rooms, sitting alone. Magnus hates it. He’s used to feeling lonely, but not to feeling _alone_ even surrounded by his family.

He starts to wander away, but Magnus stops him, reaches out to touch his hand, but Taako’s ears twitch, barely flinching away from his touch. He lets his hand fall to his side, clenching around nothing. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

Taako pauses and glances back at the pot on the stove, then shrugs. “Not hungry,” he says. He doesn’t look Magnus in the eye. “Anyway, I should keep working.”

Magnus has no idea what Taako’s work has entailed. Taako doesn’t talk to him about it. Taako barely talks to him at all these days. Taako doesn’t come to his room at night anymore, has barely even touched him since Lup left and standing close now Magnus sees dark circles blooming under his bloodshot eyes, he’s so pale, so _thin,_ skin dull, nails bitten down to stubs. “When was the last time you ate? Fuck - when was the last time you _slept?_ Because I’ve hardly seen you in weeks so I doubt you're sleeping much.”

“Lay off!” He snaps, startling Magnus at how rapidly his mood shifts. It’s not that he’s not used to that, from Taako, he’s always prone to mood swings, it’s just that he’s been nothing but despondent for weeks. It might be a good sign, or maybe not, but it feels awful regardless, like a slap to the face. “I’m fine.”

“Why are you mad at me?”

“Because I’m trying to get back to work and you won’t - hey!”

He doesn’t really think about it before he acts, before he scoops Taako up and tosses him over his shoulder. Taako fights and squirms and swears at him the whole way but luckily Magnus’s room isn’t far from the kitchen; finally he shuts the door behind him and sets Taako down. He’s red in the face and glaring, which is still better than the dead eyed stare that he’d had moments ago. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He snarls.

“If you’re not going to take care of yourself then I have to do it for you,” Magnus says, going to his drawers to get clothes for Taako to sleep in, a loose old shirt. He lays it out on the bed, and Taako doesn’t move to put it on, but he doesn’t leave either. “You’re going to sleep, and you’re going to eat something, even if it’s just toast, whatever.”

“Fuck you, I don’t need this, I don’t need you treating me like - like I’m fucking _weak_ -” He wavers on his feet for a moment as he says it, blinking and steadying himself against the wall before Magnus can reach for him.

“Sweetheart -” He doesn’t know if he should even call him that, he doesn’t know if Taako wants to hear it. He feels the weight of the wooden box in his pocket, the one he’s carried for weeks now, like a heavy stone, and he’s so afraid. “I don’t think you’re weak, I think you’re exhausted, I think you’re starving yourself and it's not going to solve a damn thing -”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT ME! I have to find her, I don’t give a fuck about the rest!”

“Then let _me_ give a fuck about it! Fuck, Taako, I don’t ever see you anymore, you don’t talk to me, you don’t talk to _anyone_. How are we supposed to know what to do for you?”

“What do you want from me?” Taako says, and now he doesn’t even sound angry, just so, so tired. “You’ve got me here, so what?”

“Do you still love me?” Magnus blurts out. The words burn coming out, it sounds so wrong. Hates himself for it as soon as he says it, for how small and weak he sounds as soon as he sees the way Taako’s ears droop back down and his eyes go wide, stricken. He knows how stupid he must sound, when he knows none of this is about him, but he can’t lose Taako. Not after everything, now now.

It feels like hours before Taako moves, finally closing that gap between them, one hand coming up to cradle Magnus’s face, the other gripping his hand so tight it hurts in those thin fingers. That touch shouldn't be so much but Magnus feels like crying. “Yes,” Taako whispers, and a breath Magnus didn’t know he was holding shudders out of him and he doesn’t know who presses in for a kiss first but they meet in the middle. It’s too hard to feel good, an edge of desperation that has Magnus grasping to pull him closer, to feel every inch of Taako against every inch of him. “Fuck, Mags, of course I do, of course -”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus says, and Taako interrupts him with another kiss.

“No, no.” He touches their foreheads together, breath shaky, and Magnus closes his eyes tight against the tears that suddenly threaten to spill. He brings both hands up to touch Taako’s face, his hands cupping his ears as they twitch, sensitive, under Magnus’s fingertips.

“I love you so much,” he chokes.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” Taako lays his forehead on Magnus’s shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck. Magnus threads his hands through Taako’s hair and brushes his fingers over his ears, holding him close for what feels like the first time in ages. He’s small and he’s trembling and Magnus doesn’t know how to fix it, how to protect him.

“I can’t watch you waste away,” he says, “if you - if you still love me you won’t do this to yourself, because I can’t _stand_ it, you have to let me help.”

“You must think I’m pathetic. Don't even know how to be without her.” He trails off, his grip on Magnus tightening.

“You’re going to find her,” Magnus says firmly.

“And until then? Or if I can’t, if she’s just…”

“Let me take care of you. That’s what I’m here for, isn’t it?” Taako makes a small sound, eyes shut tight, and Magnus takes a deep breath, steels himself and then reaches into his pocket as he sinks down to one knee on the floor. He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say, though he’d planned a thousand different things.

Taako blinks, staring at him. “What are you…” He trails off, ears pinning back like he’s being threatened. as Magnus pulls the cherrywood box out of his pocket, holding it out to him, offering himself up. _Take it, take me, take everything I have._

“Marry me,” he says quietly, opening the box, and Taako’s eyes flit back and forth between the ring inside and Magnus’s face, eyes wide. “I know it's not the right time. Maybe there’ll never be a right time, I don't care, I just know I want to be with you through whatever’s next. Please.”

Taako swears under his breath and for a long time he’s quiet, then he says, “This isn't - you don't want this.”

“Yes I do. You’re all I want.”

“You don't _want_ _this_ \- fuck, stand up, come on,” Taako insists, and Magnus does, coming to sit on the bed, as does Taako, curling in on himself, avoiding Magnus’s touch. He keeps the box open. “You really think this is going to fix anything, you think - you think we get to have any sort of life? _Here?”_

“I don't know! Maybe we can! I just know that whatever happens I want it to be with you.”

“Me?” Taako laughs, brittle and sharp. His fingers twist into the sheets. “What’s left of _me -_ I can’t - I can’t think about _next,_ anymore, I - there’s just now. There’s just, me, and her somewhere out there, and I mean - look at me. This is what I am, without her. This is all there is. You won’t fix it.”

Magnus looks. Sees the bags under his eyes, his split ends, the way he can't stop moving, looking around for something out of the corner of his eye. And he wants to find the words to explain that it’s not about _fixing_ him, that he’s not some broken piece of furniture that Magnus can rebuild, except that perhaps it _is_ about that, in a way; he’s not sure how to make it not that. Fixing, protecting, that’s what Magnus knows. All he knows now is that he has no idea what he’s doing.

“Do you get it?” Taako says before Magnus can answer. His fingers keep twitching toward the ring like it’s something in a shop window he wants to steal. “Do you understand?”

He can't, and he knows that, because it's never been like this for him, he’s never lost someone who was his entire world. There were people he loved back home, of course there were, but no one who was such a part of him that their loss could render him unwhole, everyone who means that much to him is right here on this ship and he’s watched them die a hundred times, mourning them, yes, but knowing they’d be back. He can’t imagine - must be like ripping out a piece of his heart while it’s still beating, and then trying to go on living like he isn’t missing that vital piece. What is he supposed to _get_ \- that there isn’t room for him in Taako’s heart when Lup is his priority? How can he justify being hurt by that, when he wants Lup home and safe too?

“I don't have anything to offer you, not now,” Taako says, and his voice does that thing where it turns small and soft and honest and Magnus's heart breaks, knowing he believes that, that he can think about himself that way. That Taako doesn’t know that any small piece of himself he’s willing to share is a treasure. Taako reaches out and brushes his fingers over the intricate carvings of the ring. “It’s beautiful,” he says, almost to himself, and then closes his eyes, closes the box with a sharp, final snap. “It's not a no. It's a ‘not now.’”

“Okay,” Magnus whispers.

A smile twists Taako’s mouth, not quite happy or even amused, never reaching his eyes. “Anyway, who’s gonna give me away if she’s not there, am I right?”

That draws a laugh from Magnus as he takes Taako’s hand, and Taako’s smile goes a little soft then, a little more himself. “Fair enough.” He lifts Taako’s hand, pressing kiss after kiss to it. “I love you so fucking much,” he whispers against Taako's palm, eyes shut.

“You know I do, too, right? You know?”

“You can't do that again,” Magnus says instead of answering that question, because there isn’t an answer that’s both true and kind, his doubts will only hurt Taako more. And he can’t make Taako deal with any more of his fear, his heartache. He can keep it to himself, even if it hurts right now. It will be better, he has to believe it will get better. “You can't just disappear.”

Taako doesn’t answer, laying his head down on Magnus's shoulder with a sigh. And that makes something twist up in Magnus's gut, but he doesn't argue, just wraps his arms around him. Taako has never been one for making promises.

“Just stay,” Magnus whispers. He kisses him, and Taako lets him, stays very still and just lets him. “Please. Stay with me.”

“Okay,” Taako whispers, breath cool against Magnus’s cheek. And he lets Magnus hold him tight to his chest through the night, and he stays.

Magnus wakes up to a cold, empty bed, pale morning light peeking through his porthole window; somehow, after all this time, he isn’t used to the weak light of a world with only one sun. The ring box on the nightstand is the first thing he sees. He lays there for a while, a hand out to the side like he’s searching for Taako, expecting him to be there. He slips the box into his pocket as he gets up, as he goes to feed Fisher, not knowing that this would be his last conversation with Taako before everything dissolves.

Static, then dust.

* * *

“I... thought it was lost,” he murmurs, surprised at how his voice goes low and rough.

“Maybe you’ve already made a new one by now, I don't know,” Lucretia says. He blinks in surprise, like he had forgotten she was there. He realizes distantly that his hand is trembling slightly and works to still it. It’s just memories, always coming back vividly and at the worst times, it happens to all of them - flashbacks, Barry calls them. He closes the box, fingers curling around it and squeezing slightly, grounding him. Not like he hasn’t thought about that night a thousand times before.

“No, I… I haven't. I didn't know if I…”

If he what, he doesn't know what he wants to say - didn't know if he still wanted this, if Taako would want it? If he was allowed to want it, after everything?

“You must despise me,” Lucretia says, nearly laughs, and Magnus lifts his head to look at her. She won't look back, eyes locked on her own toes as the cool water rushes over them.

“I don't, Cretia,” he says, and means it. She’s his sister, it never even occurred to him that hating her forever was an option. “You know I don't.”

It's not that he was never angry. He hates that it wasn't his choice, that even though it was maybe for the greater good she didn't give them a choice, that she erased Lup along with the rest of it. But.

He had been happy with what she left him. He misses it every day, though he would never give up the life he’s built here with Taako and Kravitz, with Angus, with Lup and Barry. If she hadn't done it, if she hadn't left him in Raven's Roost, he would never have met Julia. And if he’d been given a choice he would never have chosen to forget, to be away from Taako, but he could never fully regret anything that brought him to Julia, even if it means missing her every single day.

The guilt that comes with that thought, while looking at the ring that should have been on Taako’s finger, is too much. Too confusing, too painful. He closes the box and tucks it away in his pocket.

Lucretia breaks the silence. “I tried, you know. I wanted to find a way to do it without separating you two. But it was impossible. If you had known each other before the mission, there might have been something I could leave behind, but as it was I couldn’t - I want you to know, I did try.”

“I appreciate that,” he says. “It doesn't change anything. But I still appreciate it. Thank you for bringing it back.”

“It belongs to you,” she says with a shrug. “I’m so glad you found each other again. When you got back together while you were working as Reclaimers, I didn't say anything because as you were my employees it would have been inappropriate, probably, but I was overjoyed. And I’m proud of you both. For what that’s worth.”

“Wait. We didn't tell anyone we were together.”

She gives him a look, “Please, Magnus. _Everyone_ knew.”

“Oh.”

“Merle’s complaints were _very_ detailed.”

Magnus makes a face. “That pervert!”

To his surprise Lucretia laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. He doesn't think he’s really heard her laugh in ages, maybe at Carey and Killian’s wedding, and it sounds like home, like late nights spent talking into the early hours. When he insists that Lucretia should come by more often, he pretends to believe her when she says she won't be a stranger.

He doesn’t mention Lucretia’s visit to Taako that night.

* * *

Taako finds the box while he’s putting away laundry one day - and by putting away he means shoving unfolded clothes into a drawer until it's so full he can't really close it but like, he’s a busy man, hanging up your clothes is for nerds like Kravitz. He’s shoving Magnus’s socks to the back to make room for more when he uncovers it and just stands there for a sec, with an armful of socks, blinking stupidly. He’s only ever seen it the one time, but of course he recognizes it. Still, he has to open it, look at the ring inside, just as perfect as it always has been, because Magnus is a goddamn artist, but why is it _here, now?_

“Okay,” he says, voice like a taut string. He swallows and dumps the socks into the drawer and shoves it closed. “Cool! Coolcoolcoolcool.”

He hasn't seen that ring in twelve years. He doesn't know what the fuck it's doing here _now,_ has Magnus been carrying it this whole time? Wouldn't he have noticed? _Why?_

“Something wrong, love?” Taako jumps at the sound of Kravitz coming in, carrying a stack of perfectly folded shirts, because of course, and offering a handsome smile.

“Nope!” Taako says, popping the 'p’ and flashing a grin.

Because it's not like he’s freaking out or anything, because that would be stupid, it’s just the ring Magnus proposed to him with, that Taako fucking rejected, why would he freak out. He’s cool. He’s a chill, cool boyfriend who doesn't sweat the small stuff, you know, the little things, like “intimacy,” and “commitment,” and “emotional vulnerability.”

“You wanna make out?” Taako says, turning to Kravitz, who blinks at him like a little bird and tucks a loose dread behind his ear, just, _fucking adorable._ “Because I really want to make out right now.”

“I mean, yes, obviously, but I have a feeling you just don't want to put away the rest of the laundry,” Kravitz says, though he puts up very little resistance when Taako pushes him toward the bed the three of them share these days, far too small, but they make do. And from the look in Kravitz’s dark red eyes Taako knows that he knows something is up (he won’t say wrong, nothing’s _wrong,_ but it’s sure Something) but that unless it becomes a problem, he won’t ask until Taako is ready to bring it up.

Stupid that that makes Taako’s chest warm with affection. What a lovestruck sap he’s become (has always been, he admits. He should hate it. He really doesn't.) So in love Kravitz could easily destroy him, but somehow he’s starting to trust that he never will.

“Got it in one,” Taako agrees, and pulls Kravitz in by his tie as he straddles his hips. He wonders if Krav has seen the ring, and then he tries not to think about the ring at all.

* * *

Maybe it’s a surprise, Taako thinks, though he is specifically trying not to think about it. Maybe Magnus is planning something. Maybe there’s a special date coming up. An anniversary? No, because what the hell would that date even be with their fucked up timeline and their decades of on-again-off-again, they’ve never celebrated any anniversary except for the day they moved into this house and that passed like a month ago, so what?

He waits, and doesn’t think about it, except for when he’s obsessing maybe a little, because okay, Magnus has this ring, so if he’s going to propose ( _!?!?_ ) then what’s he waiting for? To be fair, who would want to marry Taako anyway, he’s awful, terrible husband material, he’d be whatever the male equivalent of a bridezilla is _for sure,_ the only reason Magnus proposed back then was because he was afraid Taako would leave, that’s all. So he assumes. He never asked. Never brought that night up at all.

All of the rumination is for nothing, because nothing happens, and Taako, well, he’s good out here.

* * *

Why does anything need to change, anyway, what would putting on a fancy ring do? Bunch of legal bullshit is all it is, Lup and Barry never got married and everyone knows they’re ride or die, so who even cares. (Definitely _not_ Taako.)

* * *

Okay but _seriously what is he waiting for._

* * *

On the rare occasion that their little family is home at the same time they try to make a point of having a meal together, if they can. Especially now that Angus is more often than not away at Lucas’s (infinitely inferior) school, the opportunities are few and far between, but today they have an afternoon together. Taako puts together the sandwiches, smiling to himself as he listens to Kravitz and Angus chatter away while Kravitz patiently braids Angus’s wild curls (quickly veering into afro territory) so they can lie flat under his hat. A simple domesticity that is still a bit of a novelty to Taako, to all of them.

“Where’s Magnus, sir?” Angus asks, getting Taako’s attention. He frowns - he had expected Magnus to be in by now. He never misses one of their meals.

“Must still be in the shop, pumpkin,” he says as he finishes plating the sandwiches. “What do you say we join him?”

He is indeed in the shop when they make their way through the overgrown garden, and when Kravitz pushes the door open and they step inside Magnus looks up from his work, startled. “Shit. I lost track of time.”

“S’all good, my dude,” Taako says. He clears a small area on a nearby work table to set down his plate of sandwiches, then leans in to steal a quick kiss. “Call it room service. I should charge for this shit.”

“You're the best.”

“Duh.” He watches Angus reach for a sandwich and snatches the one he was going for before he can take it; Angus just sticks out his tongue at Taako ( _that’s my boy_ ) and chooses another. “Whatcha working on that’s got you so preoccupied, big guy?”

Magnus hesitates, glancing back at his work in progress as he takes a sandwich off the tray. “Well… It was going to be a surprise, but I guess since you’ve already seen it…” He shrugs sheepishly and glances between Taako and Kravitz. Truth be told Taako can't tell from the project’s various parts what it is yet but he doesn't admit it. “It’s a new bed. One big enough for all three of us. I thought it was about time, you know?”

And that's exciting, for sure - they’ve spend ages cramming all three of them into a queen sized, loads better than their twin beds back on the moon base, and it’s doable, sure, but Magnus isn’t a small man, and Taako likes to spread out. It’s not nearly exciting enough, Taako thinks, to warrant the nervous look on Magnus’s face, or the not-so subtle wordless glance that Angus and Kravitz share - raised eyebrows, and then wide grins they fail to hide before they go back to their lunch. They get along way too well, those boys; ridiculously smart, the both of them, and complete nerds. He loves them so much.

“Cool,” Taako says. He gives Magnus another kiss on the cheek, and feels him smile. “Looking forward to it, babe.”

It doesn’t bother him at first, but by the time they leave Magnus to his work and head back to the house to get on with the day Taako is convinced that _something_ is up, he just can’t fathom what. He corners the boys in the kitchen before they can get away. “Alright, so what the fuck?”

“What do you mean, sir?” Angus asks innocently. Too innocently. Or maybe a normal amount of innocence, not like Taako pays attention.

“You two -” He points to Kravitz. “You, with your _looks._ You know something I don’t.”

“I know lots of things you don't, sir.”

“Watch yourself, Angles.”

They glance between each other again. “It could be nothing,” Kravitz says.

“Could be,” Angus agrees.

“Unless…”

“Un _less…_ ” Angus grins in way that’s way too similar to Taako himself, showing off a gap between his front teeth.

“Agnes, I fuckin’ - I swear to Pan I will un-adopt you.”

“Well, sir,” Angus says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “It’s certainly not a universal custom, but in many human cultures it’s tradition for a husband or wife to build a bed as a wedding gift for the person they intend to marry!”

“It’s an old custom,” Kravitz agrees. He can’t seem to keep the smile off his face, which is ridiculously sweet, but Taako hardly notices, busy trying to process what Angus just dropped on him. “My father was human; I remember he built the marriage bed for he and his wife. So it could be...”

“Magnus is going to ask you to marry him, sir!” Angus bursts out, clapping his hands.

Taako shakes his head. Somewhere during this conversation he realizes he had started washing the dishes just out of pure stress. “No, no, _listen,_ okay, he’s had that _fucking_ ring up there for weeks, I know because I keep fucking looking at it like a dumbass and it’s still there, so if he was gonna propose, which he _isn’t,_ he would have done it already with a ring like a normal fuckin’ person!”

“He made a ring?” Kravitz gasps, lifting a hand to his heart. Okay, so Magnus hadn’t told anyone about it, clearly. Taako doesn’t know if that makes him feel better or worse.

Behind them, a rift opens in space and Lup steps through, moving from skeletal to flesh form as she enters the kitchen. “Who made a ring?” She asks.

“Magnus did, ma’am,” Angus says, at the same time that Taako says “No one.”

“We think he’s going to propose,” Kravitz adds, at the same time that Taako insists “It’s nothing!”

“No shit! Congrats, bro!”

“No! There’s nothing to congratulate, nothing happened! Sure, yeah, there’s a ring, and yeah it’s the one he proposed to me with before but that doesn’t mean -”

 _“HE ALREADY PROPOSED?”_ All three of them shriek in unison.

“I literally hate you all so much. Get out of my house.” He scowls as Lup lets her scythe melt away and wraps him in a crushing hug.

“When was this!? Aww, my little brother is all grown up and engaged,” Lup says, pretending to wipe away a tear after she lets him go.

He throws up his hands and goes back to the sink, practically throwing the dishes around as he scrubs them. “One, you’re literally one and a half minutes older than me, so fuck you, two, _I’m not engaged!”_

“Yet!” Angus adds.

Lup just sticks her tongue out at him, sitting down at the bar next to Kravitz and Angus. “So why’s this the first I’m hearing about it? Like, that’s a huge deal, how did you keep that to yourself?”

He sighs. Clearly this conversation is happening, even though he had definitely not planned on it today. Mostly it’s hard to talk about the time Lup was gone, to give her a glimpse of the kind of person he was without her; he knows she won’t judge but he still hates it, hates how pathetic he was then. “I don’t know, it’s complicated and weird, I dunno how to feel about it. Basically right before Madame Director did her little mind-wipe -” he doesn’t try to mask the venom in his tone when he says that, not even for Lup’s benefit, “Magnus got all wigged out about our whole thing, I guess, so he like, panic-proposed? And I shot him down, I was… I was in a dark place, I just couldn’t think about it then, right? And then we forgot. Rest is history.”

Kravitz stands up, coming around to help Taako by drying the dishes as he washes them. “So you never addressed it again?”

“Nah, none of that really applies now, right? We’re _good_ now, we’re great. Hadn’t even seen the ring around until the other day, figured he’d lost it.”

“When?” Lup asks suddenly. “Like, how long ago did you find it?”

“I dunno, a month ago?”

She nods slowly, bites her lip, doesn’t quite look Taako in the eye. “Hm. Okay.”

“What?”

“...he said not to say anything.”

“Lulu!”

“Ugh, fine, Lucretia came by like a month ago with something to give Magnus, he didn’t want you to know she was here. It might not have anything to do with that.”

Taako goes still, letting the water run, until Kravitz reaches over and turns the knob to shut it off. Lucretia hasn’t even tried to speak to him in a long time, not that he has either, but Magnus talks to her all the time, Magnus always invites her to things even knowing she won’t come, why would he keep it from him that she was here?

“Maybe he’s waiting for a special day?” Angus suggests, deftly changing the subject. “Or he wants to finish making the bed?”

“The bed might just be a bed,” Taako says. “Just a practicality thing, ours is too small.”

“If you turned him down before, maybe he’s worried you don’t want him to propose,” Kravitz suggests. “Maybe you should take the initiative. If that’s what you want.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have room for another ring on his finger,” Taako says, barely thinking before he says it, and everyone goes quiet and his stomach turns. Because Magnus does wear his wedding ring still, calls Julia his wife still. And Taako’s ring is shoved away in a sock drawer.

Angus is the one who breaks the silence, because of course, and luckily it’s not about Julia or Lucretia, the very last people in the world he wants to talk about. “Sir, if you want to know the truth, you should follow the first step of finding clues.”

He manages to smile. “What’s that, little man?”

“Ask the right questions!”

* * *

Here are four things that Magnus has never told a soul:

  1. He hasn’t returned to Julia’s grave since the day he dug it.
  2. The night of Carey and Killian’s wedding, after the ceremony was over and after the reception where he’d danced with Taako for hours, he didn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way he and Julia had danced long into the night on their own wedding day, and how she’d laughed with pure joy as she kissed him and called him husband, and _til death do us part._
  3. Sometimes he wakes up in the mornings holding Taako in his arms and for a few blissful, awful moments, he thinks he’s holding Julia instead.
  4. Sometimes he wants to ask Kravitz, _how much longer do I have to keep her waiting?_



* * *

He takes his work out to the woodshop when Magnus is working sometimes, grades papers and tests with the ambient noise of Magnus sawing and hammering and humming to himself as a backdrop, the smell of cedar wood that always clings to Magnus’s clothes. He lets Ren handle most of the administrative stuff around the school, she’s _good_ at that, with juggling a million things and staying organized and knowing how to delegate it all; honestly he’s be screwed without her, though she can’t ever know that. She’s also too nice, and Taako is really good at taking these sophomores down a notch when they have the fucking nerve to submit a paper with an incomplete bibliography, or disregard Mordenkainen’s theories in a thesis on polymorph spells, or, god forbid, miss an Oxford comma.

(He is stupidly proud of every single one of them, if he’s being honest, but he’ll never tell.)

And maybe he likes watching Magnus work, when he needs to take a break from circling spelling errors in red pen. Likes to look up from his lesson plans and see his man in his element. Magnus hadn’t been a carpenter before they met again; even once he’d picked up carving at the conservatory it wasn’t like this - he turns out masterpieces of cabinetry, tables that are like works of art, and still the occasional duck.

One of those things that changed, Taako guesses, in the years they were all apart. God knows he did. They’re the same people at their core, but that decade shifted something in all of them; there must be things about Magnus that he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t talk about those years much, and Taako can’t even blame him, he’s always been tight lipped about Sizzle It Up.

But he doesn’t like it, the not-knowing. A hundred years with the same seven people, you come to know each other inside and out. He knows about the time when Merle left the congregation of Pan for a decade or so to be an adventurer, a warrior, and how he’d found his way back to Pan in time; he knows exactly how to cook around Barry’s numerous allergies; he knows about Lucretia’s quiet, lonely childhood and her desperate crush on Lup. He _doesn’t_ know what was the final straw that made Merle walk out on his wife and kids, or how Lucretia met Maureen and Lucas Miller, or what else she gave up in Wonderland.

He doesn’t know how Magnus met his wife, and he doesn’t much like to dwell on that, but here he is. Magnus takes off his wedding ring while he works and Taako can see the outline of where it always sits on his finger, the skin there just a shade or two lighter than the rest of his scarred and calloused hands.

“You’re thinking too hard again,” Magnus says. Taako blinks, realizing suddenly that he’d been staring for god knows how long. Magnus is smiling at him though, amused, so Taako laughs softly and looks back down at his papers. He supposes there are plenty of things Magnus doesn't know about him these days too. How there are nights when he can’t turn off his brain even when he’s nestled between his two boys, when their normally soothing presence is too much. Those nights he sometimes climbs out of bed, pulls on a sweatshirt and his slippers and sits outside instead, under the open sky because it feels like the roof over his head will crush him, and he has to fight the urge to go get Lup and take her by the hand and run away into the night, like old times.

Magnus doesn’t know this, Kravitz either. Only Lup, who wakes up when he wakes up and sits outside with him all night if he needs her to, keeps him still, keeps him steady when he feels anything but. She doesn’t share his urge to escape, but she understands where it stems from, at least.

“Can’t turn off the money-maker, am I right?” he says, tapping his forehead. His voice sounds strained to his own ears, so he knows how fake he must sound, Magnus won’t believe he’s actually thinking about these papers for even a second, but he won’t ask, either. “Gotta let these kiddos soak up some of my genius. God knows they need it.”

Magnus chuckles. He’s working on the headboard today, the whole thing is already nearly done, it finally looks like an actual bed. Taako should be more excited about it, but he’s mostly confused, after the conversation with Lup and Angus and Kravitz. They’re all insistent that he should take the initiative, that he should take that ring from where it’s still hidden in the sock drawer and get down on one knee himself, if that’s what he wants. They don’t see the problem; hell, he’s not sure he even knows what his own problem is, what he wants from this. If he’s going to do it it’s got to be big and flashy and preferably in front of a live studio audience but hey, if Magnus is planning something it would be pretty awkward to steal his thunder.

“Did you build a bed for you and Julia?” He asks, conversationally, looking back down at the papers as if it’s an absent question and not something he’s been wondering for a week. His ears must give him away - one dropped low but tense, one standing up attentively to listen. “When you got married?”

An answer doesn’t come right away, and he flicks his eyes over to Magnus and his heart sinks. Magnus has gone still, pausing in the middle of sanding down one of the bedknobs, and Taako can’t begin to read the expression on his face. It shouldn’t be so important, but it somehow feels like the answer to everything.

Magnus blinks and shakes his head. Slowly goes back to sanding, though he’s distracted now, shoulders tense and obviously uncomfortable. He’s been so quiet lately, distant. Sad, maybe. That’s new, too, it seemed like nothing ever got to him before, but there are so many days that Taako notices him just looking into space like he’s a million miles away. It comes in cycles, the sadness. Before their memories were returned he hadn’t thought it was strange, now he can see how different things are. It’s not like Taako can't relate with his own rapid swings between high and low but he still doesn't know how to bring it up with Magnus. “Why do you ask?”

Taako shrugs. “Heard it was some weird human courtship thing.”

“What, elves don’t do courtship?”

“Wouldn’t know. Don’t hang around elves much.” Especially on this world, he really doesn’t know shit about them. He’d always wondered, back before he’d gotten his memory back, why people were so confused when he said he was from New Elfington, even laughed like it was a joke. One of those little things, he guesses, that Lucretia hadn’t fed to Fisher.

“I guess so,” Magnus says. He’s not looking at Taako, and Taako both wishes he would and wishes that he hadn’t said anything. But he needs to know. “It’s different everywhere, I guess, but in Raven’s Roost it was a thing. We were all craftsmen, you know, lot of rituals around… you know, making things.”

“Sounds like a lot of work,” Taako says. “I mean damn, just get the gal some diamonds and move on, what else do you need?”

“Taako.”

He’s so quiet, the kind of quiet that forces you to stop and listen. “What’s up, bubbela,” he says, and hates how hard he has to work to keep his voice steady.

“What are you doing?”

“Heh - what do you mean? Just curious. Don’t know what you got up to all that time ‘cept making chairs, you know?”

Magnus shakes his head, setting his tools down. “You’ve never asked me about her before. Not once.”

“What, am I not allowed to?”

“I don’t know, you - it’s kind of weird for me to talk about!”

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s _so_ much fun for me,” Taako says before he can stop himself. He winces, but the damage is done, Magnus frowns at him looking confused and hurt.

“Okay, are we fighting right now?” He asks slowly. “Because if we are it’s news to me. And it sounds like you’re accusing me of something but you’re doing that thing where you come at it sideways and you know how confusing that is -”

“Well I’m pretty confused too,” Taako snaps. He hadn’t really realized how tense this subject would make him until now. “I’m confused why Lucretia was here. And why you didn’t tell me about it. And why you’re building a bed like - like we’re getting married all of the sudden. Is that direct enough for you?”

Magnus blinks. “I told Lup not to tell you about that.”

“Yeah, she told me that too.”

“It’s not like - I know how you feel about her. I didn’t want to upset you.”

Taako shakes his head. “Failed your deception check there, my dude. You’re the one who always wants us to sing kumbaya like she’s not the reason we were separated.”

“What does _any_ of this have to do with the bed? Or Julia?”

“Because! Because my last fuckin’ memory of you… _before,_ is you proposing to me and then she goes and drops you with… forget it. Being stupid.”

Understanding finally dawns on Magnus’s face and he closes his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck with a sawdust-covered hand. “The ring.”

“So that _is_ why she was here?” He’d suspected as much but it still settles heavy in his gut, a stupid thing to be so angry about, maybe, but here he is. Like it isn’t enough of a sore spot, that their last night together before they were separated was a botched proposal after weeks of hardly speaking; he looks back on that time and feels sick with how he’d kept Magnus at arm’s reach.

“She held onto it. Kept it safe for me,” Magnus says.

Taako stands up, just to pace back and forth across the small space, he can’t sit still anymore. “Jesus, Mags.”

“I didn’t know what to do yet.”

He hates this. He hates talking about her, he hates thinking about her, he hates the idea of her holding on to his ring for over a decade after deciding that what they had, their _choice,_ was less important than a shitty plan that he would have helped with if she had just _asked_ him even once. Her sitting hunched over those journals picking and choosing which pieces of him to leave behind, the bits she hadn’t been able to erase that led him back to Magnus like a trail of breadcrumbs in the end. Making the choice to leave him alone, while Magnus was dropped off in a town with a family and a life and Taako was left with nothing except the setup for a long series of mistakes.

And Magnus knows this. Or Taako thought he knew. Maybe he doesn’t, maybe Taako hasn’t made it clear enough, it’s not like it’s easy to talk about especially when Magnus was so quick to forgive her. He supposes that Magnus must have been happy enough with what Lucretia chose for him. Probably thanked her for it, maybe that’s why he won’t talk to Taako about Julia, if it was so much better than what they’d had before.

“How did you know?” Magnus asks quietly, his eyes following Taako as he paces.

“Should’ve found a better hiding place.”

“I wasn’t going to keep it from you forever. I was trying to decide....”

“Decide what? What’s so different that now that you changed your mind?” He needs to stop talking. He doesn’t know how they got here, how this turned into a fight, what does he think he wants to hear, the truth? _Sorry, Taako, you’re not my first choice anymore?_ “You’re fine with buying a house together but I’m not marriage material?”

“What are you mad about, that I was married before? That I wanted to build something nice for us? What is the problem here?”

“I’m not mad!”

“Yes you - okay. We’re not doing this this,” Magnus says, voice carefully level like he’s trying not to raise it, but it still sounds loud to Taako, feels like he’s shouting. “I’m not talking to you about Julia, not when you’re upset, not when I don’t have a good answer for you. I’m allowed to take time to figure my shit out.”

He’s already packing up before Magnus is done speaking, his papers shoved haphazardly into a messenger bag. Like he couldn’t help Magnus figure this shit out if they needed to, like Magnus couldn’t just talk to him about Julia; maybe he can’t, maybe Taako’s that shitty of a person that Magnus doesn’t want to tell him when he’s hurting and that - that feels awful. Eyes stinging and feeling like an idiot and an asshole, but he can’t keep the anger from his voice as he spits out, “Yeah, you take your sweet time,” and slams the door of the workshop behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Koko,” Lup says, resting a hand on his shoulder. She fixes him with a solemn gaze and says, "That’s fucking stupid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry!!! I fixed it!!!
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this! Thanks for reading, I know it's kind of stupidly long.

Magnus takes the ring out of the drawer and stares at it, like he can find some kind of answer in the grooves of the carvings he had made. He finds himself proud of it, still, the box and the ring both, even though he’s improved his craft a hundredfold since he made it, even though it feels like a lifetime ago, like it was made by an entirely different person. Stephen always told him that you can see it when a craftsman really loves their work, when they put their heart into a piece - even if it’s not perfect, it’s more beautiful for it.

He’d been so nervous about Julia’s wedding ring. So nervous about the bed, when he’d presented it to her. Of course she had barely glanced at it before she threw her arms around his neck and he spun her around as she said, practically shouting in her excitement, “Yes, _of course,_ what took you so long, you dummy?”

He couldn’t tell you what had taken him so long, now. Why he hadn’t married that woman the day he met her, as if he didn’t know from the moment he laid eyes on her that she would be everything to him. There was supposed to be a house, too, but they wanted to build that together; just a cabin, maybe room to expand when they had kids one day.  If he’d known then how little time they’d get -

He runs a finger over the little jewels set into Taako’s ring (Julia’s had been plain, unadorned except for delicate honeysuckle flowers carved into the band, beautiful in it's simplicity just like she was). He can only imagine what Taako’s ideal wedding would be like. It would be the event of the season, everyone who’s anyone would be there, a performance like so much of what Taako does, but the ceremony would be real despite that, his vows would be sweet and honest and Magnus knows he’d cry waterfalls. That or he’d whisk Magnus away to some exotic location, elope in secret, something dramatic like that. He and Julia’s wedding had been a small affair, simple, just friends and family, but what a party. They’d danced and danced until he thought his feet would fall off and then he’d danced yet more.

 _Why do you do this to yourself,_ he thinks, angry with himself as she closes the box, sets it gently back in the drawer. He doesn’t mean to compare Taako and Julia, feels awful when he catches himself doing so, it’s not fair to Taako _or_ to Julia’s memory. Why think about it when it just hurts, when it will always hurt and there’s nothing he can do, why can’t he just _forget?_

He feels terrible for snapping at Taako, for shutting him down, but he hadn’t known what to do, he wasn’t ready for that talk, and he’s been avoiding Taako since. It’s immature, but he doesn’t know what he’ll say and how he’ll hurt Taako further if he doesn’t get his own head on straight first. He’ll make his way back to the workshop, put all of his energy into the bed he’s building for them now.

He doesn’t want to forget. But he doesn’t want to keep this pain and guilt locked inside him either, to let it fester and poison him. For so long he’s let it sit there, a heavy weight on his chest keeping him from moving forward, a hole in his heart. But that was when he was alone, when his entire world had crumbled down around him. It’s not like that anymore, he’ll never be alone again. But that pain remains, a constant reminder of what he should have had, and he understands, now, in a way he hadn’t been able to back then, why Taako hadn’t been able to accept his proposal. But Taako’s heart had returned to him in time. Magnus has to put himself back together on his own.

He doesn’t know how to begin letting it go. But maybe he can share the burden.

* * *

“So what are we doing today?” Taako asks brightly, twirling the krebstar with one hand as they walk through the cave, the other hand holding Kravitz’s. His sweet as hell adventuring outfit is totally wasted on this cave, but that’s fine, Kravitz will appreciate it.

 _"We_ are doing our jobs, actually,” Lup says at his other side. She’s in full reaper garb; the feathered cloak, the dope suit, honestly Taako would be a little jealous of their digs but black just isn’t his color (Barry always seems to get around this by simply continuing to wear a white t-shirt and jeans, though, so maybe Lup and Kravitz are just way into the Drama of it all). “Not sure what you’re doing.”

“Wow,” Taako pouts. “Don’t want to hang out with your sweet, adoring brother, I see how it is.”

“Of course we want you here, love,” Kravitz says, giving his hand a squeeze. It’s not super comfortable since he’s currently a skeleton but Taako gives him a dazzling smile in return anyway. “It’s just that you’ve never been particularly interested before.”

Kravitz isn’t wrong; Taako doesn’t go for adventuring much these days, every once in a while he’ll tag along with Magnus when he goes off to help a farmer deal with a kobold tribe that keeps stealing his cows or something like that, but this whole “not having to throw myself into deadly situations constantly” thing is such a novelty still and most things are far below the paygrade of The Most Powerful Transmutation Wizard In The Multiverse.

“Maybe I need to blow off some steam. Fuck off, you’re not my dad,” he says. “C’mon, what are we dealing with here?”

Lup and Kravitz glance at each other and shrug. “Nothing too crazy,” Kravitz says. “A mad wizard who thinks that apparently it doesn’t count as necromancy if you’re harvesting _goblin_ souls.”

“Total dumbass,” Lup agrees. “I mean come on, how racist can you get, they’re humanoid! Anyway, he’s kind of fucking with the local goblin population so that’s not super great.”

“Also the raising an army of very small zombies is a bit of a problem.”

“Oh yeah. Very uncool.”

“Aw hell yeah,” Taako says. “I haven’t fucked up a goblin in _ages,_ let’s do it!”

Another surreptitious glance between Lup and Kravitz, and Taako bristles at that. They see right through him and he knows it, knows that they know he’s trying to distract himself, but is that so wrong? To stop ruminating over pointless shit for just a couple hours? God forbid he take five minutes to not think about Magnus sleeping on the couch last night, and leaving to spend the day in his workshop before Taako was even out of bed, instead of the slow, late mornings they usually indulge in when Taako has a day at home. It was like a physical thing, his awareness of Magnus’s absence. See, this - this is what he’d always been afraid of, this reliance, you get used to having something or someone and you let your guard down and fuck up once and it all falls apart -

“Taako,” says Kravitz by his side, and Taako shakes himself from the spiraling thoughts. Tells himself that one argument does not break their entire relationship. Getting out of the house is good, keeps him occupied, keeps him from thinking so hard. “I’m picking up intense necrotic energy from that chamber, the necromancer - or at least his minions - must be there.”

Lup nods. “I feel it too.” She shifts, flesh melting to bone, a scythe materializing in her hand. “Sure you’re not too distracted, bro?”

“I’m fine!” Taako huffs. “Why would I be upset?”

“I didn’t say upset, I said distracted. What’s the matter?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, I want to kill this nasty death boy!”

“Taaakoo,” she sings, “you have to tell me, I’m proficient in persuasion!”

“Still fighting with Magnus?” Kravitz asks gently. “He told me he was going to give you some space.”

Taako slumps back against the wall of the cave and immediately regrets it, the dampness seeping into his shirt. Give him some space? More like avoid him, more like slink around him - except that's not like Magnus at all and he knows it. “Great, cool, so he’ll talk to _you_ about it.”

“Clearly _you_ weren’t going to.”

“Because it’s stupid! We’re not _fighting,_ okay, we’re just - I don’t know what we’re doing _-”_

“WHO GOES THERE?” A high pitched voice sounds from inside the chamber and the three of them shrink back against the wall, holding their breath. “WHO DARES ENTER MY DOMAIN?”

Taako doubles over laughing, which sets Lup off too, while Kravitz somehow gives the impression of rolling his eyes despite not currently having any, hefting his scythe. “So much for the element of surprise,” he mutters.

“Fuck it, we can take ‘em. Lead the way, Skeletor.”

The necromancer, a scrawny, surprisingly young man, is already surrounded by a dozen or so zombified goblins in varying states of decay. These keep the trio busy while he proceeds to monologue about something that Taako doesn't bother to pay attention to; from Kravitz and Lup’s reactions it's nothing they haven't heard before. Lup throws fireballs with one hand and swings a scythe with the other while Kravitz is like a dancer with his own weapon, cutting the zombies down.

“So what happened?” Kravitz calls out across the room. “You two never fight.”

Taako rolls his eyes. Apparently he doesn't get to escape this conversation. The zombies have quickly begun to swarm and he blasts them back with a thunderwave, sending them flying away.  “Turns out I'm not the only one with commitment issues,” he says. “He wouldn't even talk about it.”

“About marriage?”

“I don't know, man. It was real messy. I just wanted to know if he built a bed when he married Julia and then it was a whole thing.” He had honestly come out here to ignore all the problems back home, should've known he wouldn't escape, why does everyone love talking about their feelings so much? It's not even that he doesn't _want_ to talk, exactly, there’s a lot he could vent about. But as much as he loves Lup and Kravitz, they’re not really the people he wants to talk to about this right now.

He _wants_ to talk to his best friend, to vent at him about what a load of bullshit the whole thing is, knowing he’d listen and not judge, not even give advice unless it was asked for. He wants to talk to Magnus and he can't.

“Ah.” A downward slash cleaves one of the zombies in two as Kravitz makes his way closer to the necromancer, who continues to throw spell slots into raising the dead. “To his credit, I imagine that’s not an easy topic. I don't think he’s ever talked to me about her, either.”

“Sure, sure, but…” A flick of Taako’s wrist and a goblin is flung through the air. “I don't know, he was all about getting married before, so why not now?”

Lup dodges out of the way of a zombie’s swipe, coming to stand back to back with Taako. “Bro, I gotta say, I’m confused about what your actual problem is,” she says, panting slightly. “Before you were all wigged out about the idea of Maggie proposing and now you’re mad because he _hasn't_?”

“ _I am the great wizard Bartok! You will never leave this cave alive -"_

“Hey, man!” Lup yells. “We’re having a conversation here!”

“Jesus, Bartok, read the fuckin’ room!”

“Anyway, what do you really want here?”

“I don't know, I… I want _him._ I want him to want me back.”

“I really don't think _commitment_ is an issue for Magnus as such,” Kravitz calls out from across the cave. He summons his book, thumbs through it for the necromancer’s name, “Thank you, by the way, describing your plans in detail makes my job _much_ easier - anyway, I assure you Magnus is completely committed to you.”

“Cool, well that's also terrifying!” In unison, the twins incinerate the remaining goblins with a pair of fireballs. “I’m a mess, okay, we all know this.”

“All I mean is - hold on _just_ one moment, Bartok - his last marriage ended traumatically to say the least. Can you really blame him for having trouble talking about remarrying? Especially if you corner him with questions about his wife?”

“That is really callous,” the wizard pipes up. “You should try to have a little empathy.”

“Fuck off, Bartok, no one asked.” Taako grumbles, wiping soot and blood from his skirt. “Krav, can you deal with this creep?”

“Right.” Kravitz begins reading off the wizards charges, ignoring his pleas for mercy.

Meanwhile Lup shifts back to her normal form, flesh knitting back over bone. “I know it’s got to be hard to deal with,” she says gently, “but you know he loves you, right? That’s all that matters.”

Taako shrugs, nudging one of the zombies with the to of his boot. He feels like such an idiot trying to talk about this stuff, _knows_ how illogical he’s being. “Yeah. I guess. I just… what if that’s not enough? What if _I’m_ just not enough anymore?”

He hadn't even thought of it in those terms, not since the night he found out about Julia, but the truth of it settles heavy in his gut. How the hell can he be good enough to keep Magnus around? How can he compare to her, what does he have to offer here?

“Koko,” Lup says, resting a hand on his shoulder. He cringes; it's slightly wet with zombie funk. She fixes him with a solemn gaze and says, “One, that’s fucking stupid. Two, and you’re gonna hate this, but you gots to talk to him. Sooner rather than later.”

“I agree,” Kravitz says, coming to stand next to them. He’s holding the necromancer's soul, a slightly pulsing energy in his hand. “He’s just as confused and hurt as you are right now.”

“I’m not… good at this stuff,” Taako mumbles. They’re right, of course. Assholes. “Feelings. Real talk.”

Kravitz smiles at him knowingly. “You’re better at it than you think, love. Lup and I will have to finish up this business in the astral plane, will you be alright at home tonight? Paperwork, you know.”

“Yeah, I’m a big boy, don’t even trip.”

He’s dreading an evening alone, actually, no one else is home tonight but Magnus and that’s… _that,_ he doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts right now. Maybe he can get some work done or something, but he kind of just feels like doing nothing for a solid week. There's a part of him that misses those days when he didn't have anyone, sometimes, where no one could affect him, when he could just leave any situation that got difficult.

Not most of the time, anymore. There are more good days than bad now. Sometimes that just makes the bad days so much worse.

* * *

They drop him off through a rift and he steps into the dark house, it sounds like even Magnus is still out, which is both a relief and disappointing, everything too quiet here. He trudges upstairs, throws the clothes in the wash, and runs a hot shower, washing away goblin guts and soot and cave funk; yeah, there's a reason he doesn't go adventuring anymore, too old for this shit. Magnus would've had fun with it, though.

He’s not trying to think about Magnus, but as soon as he starts it’s hard to stop. Pointless, though, clearly Magnus doesn't want to be around him. Can't blame him for that.

 _Stop_ , he snaps at himself, at his brain for being a jerk. _You're not helping_. It’s just that Magnus is kind of the only person he _wants_ to see even though he’s upset with him and he doesn't know how to deal with that, it’s really kind of pathetic, but Magnus _gets_ him, always has a way to make him feel better. They’re good together, always have been.

He washes his hair and stands under the spray until it starts to turn cold, then dries off and treats himself to some nice lotion (bought because Kravitz liked the smell, mostly), changing into sad-day sweatpants for a quiet night in. The shower helps him feel better and he tries to entertain himself, but he’s still antsy. He whips up a batch of chocolate chip cookies because it’s mindless work but he doesn't feel like eating them once they’re done. Dinner is leftovers because what’s the point if no one else is around to cook for. Finally he curls up on the couch with a book, but he finds himself reading the same page at least three times without remembering a single word before he gets frustrated and tosses it aside. It’s a romance, anyway, and he’s so not in the mood.

“Taako?”

It's a little sad, the way his heart jumps at that  sound, like a kid with a silly crush, his ears pointing straight up. Magnus hovers in the doorway to the living room looking uncharacteristically nervous, sheepishly looking down as he rubs the back of his neck. Taako swallows, his chest suddenly tight, not just with nerves but with emotion. Barely more than a day and he’s _missed_ Magnus so much, how the fuck did he deal with ten years apart.

“Sup, homie,” he says, going for casual and utterly failing.

“Um… so, it’s finished. The bed, I mean. And I wondered if maybe you wanted to help me put it together?” Magnus shrugs, still looking at the floor, cheeks pink. He doesn't look angry though. Far from it. “Thought it’d be a nice surprise for Kravitz when he gets home tonight.”

He nods before he can start overthinking it. A bed is a bed is a bed, it doesn’t have to mean something, he doesn't want to be disappointed. _Talk to him sooner rather than later,_ Lup had insisted, and Taako isn’t great at hard conversations but so far he and Magnus have made it out the other side 100% of the time. Not bad odds, really. “Yeah,” he says, and he offers Magnus a soft smile. Receives one in return and it loosens something in him, he can breathe easier. “Yeah, I can do that.”

They work together in silence for a time, as they carry the pieces of the new bed from the workshop to the bedroom. Evening starts to fall as they work, the pale purple of the sky casting everything in shadow. Before long it’s ready to assemble, the individual pieces laid out neatly on the floor, and they move the old bed to a spare room for the time being.

“It _smells_ good,” he says, breaking the long, almost meditative silence. He traces a line in the wood with his finger; beautifully carved vines that climb up the bedposts and blossom into all kinds of flowers. “How did you do that?”

“Oh.” Magnus laughs under his breath. “It’s orange blossoms. Like the oil you put in your shampoo? I worked it into the lacquer. It always reminds me of you, so…” He shrugs, looking embarrassed all over again. What he says next is nearly an afterthought, soft and quiet. “Julia liked florals, too. Especially honeysuckle. Always smelled like honeysuckle.”

It’s the most casually Taako has ever heard him speak about Julia. He waits to feel jealous or angry or _something_ but he finds he’s not. Just vaguely sad. Strange that this person he’d never known can be so important; he finds himself wondering about her a lot of the time, what she was like, what she and Magnus were like together. He should have gotten to meet her. They could've had a good thing, here.

Magnus has gone quiet again as he starts picking up pieces of the bed to assemble, giving Taako instructions on what goes where, but after a moment he stops and blurts out, “I haven’t kissed you in like a day and a half and I hate it, can I - ?” stopping just short of reaching out to touch him.

Taako snorts out a laugh, but he’s already setting down the bedpost he was holding and shifting in close, and Magnus wastes no time in lifting Taako’s chin and kissing him, slow and thorough like in this single kiss he’s making up for the thirty-two hours worth of kisses that they may have missed. Taako feels his own shoulders soften, tension he hadn’t known he was holding melting away as Magnus’s hand cups his jaw and he sighs into his mouth. He keeps his eyes closed for a second more when Magnus slowly pulls away, Magnus’s lips still brushing his as he speaks. “Not talking to you sucks.”

Another laugh, breathy and soft, and Taako brushes his fingers through Magnus’ beard. It is achingly good to touch him, to kiss him, this tension released; nothing is solved, far from it, but they’re okay. They’ll be okay. “God, I kept wanting to vent to someone, you know, but you were the only person I wanted to talk to about it and I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

They lapse into silence again, comfortable this time as they return to work, but eventually Magnus starts speaking again, quiet and contemplative. “You were right, I did build a bed for her. It’s supposed to be the first thing to go in your new home. It was funny actually, Stephen - Julia’s dad - I didn’t know about that tradition, y’know, so I go to him one day, hat in hand, and I ask for permission to marry her, like you do. And he looks at me like I’m crazy, like ‘where the hell are you from, boy?’ Didn't have any idea why I’d need his permission.” He laughs, shaking his head, helping Taako as he pushes the side panels of the bed frame into place. He’s patient as he works in a way that he isn’t with most things.

“How did you meet her?” Taako asks, feeling like he’s holding his breath. There’s so little he knows. So much he’s not sure he wants to know. But he has to - they have to stop stepping around this, stop pretending she wasn’t a part of Magnus’s life. Magnus looks at him, meets his eyes for a long moment as if checking if Taako is sure. “It’s okay if you don't -”

“It was during my apprenticeship at her dad’s shop,” Magnus interrupts, as if he needs to get it out before losing his nerves. “She was looking for folks to join this protest against…” His eyes go dim, just for a second, staring into blank space, before he shakes his head and goes on.

Taako bites his lip and glances away; it hadn’t occurred to him when they were in Wonderland how much losing the memory of Governor Kalen might affect the rest of Magnus’s memories of Raven’s Roost, of Julia; it feels almost shameful to know this when Magnus doesn't, _can't_ know.

“I can’t remember exactly what we were protesting, now, I guess it doesn’t matter. She always had a cause, she cared so much. Soon as I saw her, I knew I’d do anything she asked me to…” His story flows from their first meeting to the day of their wedding, and it’s slow, stilted, Magnus is so unused to talking about her, so much of his memory fragmented by what he gave up in Wonderland, but Taako urges him on with questions whenever he falls silent, and they continue their work as they talk. And Taako can’t say it’s easy to hear, clearly it’s not easy for Magnus to say. But neither is it as painful as he has thought it would be. Before long the bed stands finished and together they lift the mattress, custom-ordered to fit, up onto the frame.

Taako runs a hand up one of the bedposts, tracing the intricate carvings, feeling the smooth wood beneath his fingertips. Magnus had worked so hard on this, day in and day out, and of course he had made for them nothing short of a masterpiece. “It’s beautiful, Mags,” he says.

“Taako.” He looks back up at Magnus when he speaks, and Magnus’s gaze is so intense he’s taken aback. “You know I love you, right?”

He swallows. “I know.”

“Everything I said to you that night, the night I proposed? I still mean it. But that isn’t ever going to change what I had with Julia. I’ll always love her just as much. And I hate that that’s hurting you but - I’m not going to forget her, I just can’t.”

Taako nods. He sinks down onto the bare mattress, hands clasped in his lap. “I don’t… resent her, you know,” he says slowly, trying this new thing where he thinks through his words before he speaks. “It probably seems like I do, but it’s not like that, it’s not that simple. It’s - big, and messy, and complicated, and I know I’ve not been dealing with it, but - it’s not her I’m messed up about, not really. I’d have to be pretty hypocritical to be mad about my boyfriend loving someone else, right, considering everything? Oh my god, I’m in a big poly four-way with your dead wife.” He freezes, realizing what he’d just said in all his rambling, but to his surprise Magnus laughs, shoulders shaking as he tries to restrain it.

“You’re so _weird_ ,” Magnus says, stepping closer, a crooked smile on his face. “I never know what you’re going to say.”

“That’s me, baby. Sexy mystery wrapped in an even sexier enigma with a side of unpredictability,” Taako says with a laugh. “I’m, uh, I’m probably not helping, huh?”

“I like you weird.” Magnus’s hand brushes his shoulder, his neck, and Taako shivers a little at the touch, he nearly wants to cry with how gently he’s being treated; it’s so much more than he deserves. He lifts a hand to to cover Magnus’s. “So… can you try to tell me what _is_ messing you up, then? Because god knows I’m messed up too.”

“...It’s going to sound so shitty.”

“Nothing could ever make me think you’re shitty.”

“I guess it’s about Lucretia, sort of? Indirectly? I know she thinks she tried to do right by all of us but fuck, she drops you off in a nice town and you meet the love of your life and you should’ve gotten to settle down and have a million babies. You _would’ve_ if it hadn’t gone wrong. And where does she dump me, what does she leave me with? A food truck and the ol’ swiss cheese brain. That’s it. I was alone and I didn’t even understand why I was so fucked up.”

He sighs and rubs at his face. It’s weird to vocalize it, sounds so stupid out loud, makes so little sense, when in his head it’s this huge, insurmountable _thing_ all wrapped up tight with the night Magnus proposed _._ He wonders when he gets to stop being so messed up about this, if he ever does, when from his perspective it looks like everyone else has dealt with it just fine. He shakes his head and goes on. “So yeah, ch’boy’s bitter! About a lot of shit! And that’s not your fault. It’s not Julia’s fault, s’not fair for me to put that on you, but fuck! I turn you down and then she takes you away and the next time I see you, you’ve gotten married to someone else, yeah, it hurts.”

“And that’s why Lucretia having the ring upset you,” Magnus says.

Taako shrugs. He can’t meet Magnus’s eyes, instead focusing on picking at some chipping blue polish on his thumbnail. He’d painted Magnus’s the same color the other day to match, but it never lasts long on his hands. The answer is yes, but it’s too simplified, all his feelings a tangled mess sitting in the center of his chest. Mostly he just wishes nothing had happened the way it did, that he hadn’t turned out this jealous, petty person, but that’s pointless. “We never talked about it,” he says quietly. “And I guess I thought, maybe you changed your mind, maybe you didn’t want to marry me anymore. And I told myself I didn’t care, that it doesn’t matter, but… I didn’t know what I wanted? That’s not right. I don’t know.”

Magnus nods slowly. “I didn’t know what I wanted either. Or if it was worth trying again, after the last time. I should’ve just talked to you a long time ago, I just...” He goes quiet then for a while, and Taako looks up, finally, up at his face, and then wishes he hadn’t. Magnus has his eyes closed tight, like he’s struggling not to cry. “Some mornings... I wake up and I don’t know where I am. Takes a minute for all the memories to sort themselves out. I’ll think I’m back in my bunk on the Starblaster sometimes. Or I’ll think I’m in Raven’s Roost, and - and I’ll be holding you, and for a second I think it’s Julia.”

Taako lets out a long, slow breath. No point in pretending that that doesn’t feel like a knife in his gut. It hadn’t actually occurred to him that Magnus might have the same problem he does - where sometimes he isn’t even sure who he is, which memories are real and which aren’t, which version of himself he’ll be that day. Stupid, of course, they’re _all_ fucked up from it. Magnus understands him better than Taako gives him credit for.

“I’m so sorry,” Magnus chokes.

“I don’t _want_ you to be sorry.”

“You deserve better, you - I just, I miss her so much, and I can’t not, and it’s so hard to talk about and I’m sorry.”

Taako shakes his head, stands up so he’s at eye level with Magnus, but Magnus looks away. He doesn’t try to make him look, just threads their fingers together and squeezes tight and doesn't let go. “I’m never gonna ask you to stop loving her,” he says. Magnus’s takes a shuddering breath and he wipes his eyes. “Don’t apologize for that, you hear me? If that fucks me up, that’s on me, okay, that’s me being an insecure asshole. I can get over it. And if you can’t marry me, if that’s too much… it’s okay. A bed can just be a bed.”

“But I do want that,” Magnus says, sniffling and rubbing his eyes again, wiping away the last of his tears before he goes on. “I want to be able call you my husband.”

And Taako’s heart leaps, it’s almost pathetic but he had been so sure - so convinced that Magnus didn’t want him that way anymore, that he would always carry that regret of turning him down, losing his chance. “Wouldn’t she want you to be happy?”

“...she would. I know that. She would’ve loved you and Krav.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

Magnus’s honesty hurts but it’s better than not knowing. Honesty is what kept them together this long. Taako sinks back down to the bed, wraps his arms around himself and looks down at the floor.

“I don’t want you to look at me one day ten, twenty years down the road and realize that… that I couldn’t compare to her. I don’t want to _replace_ her. I don’t even want to try, I shouldn’t have to, I just...” Taako lets his head fall forward to rest on Magnus’s belly, hands coming up to settle on his hips. His fingers sink into the soft fat that settles there that he loves so much and he breathes Magnus in, the scent of cedar and musk and the last traces of soap from last night’s shower. He presses a kiss to Magnus’s belly and lifts his eyes to look at him and says softly, “I want to be good enough for you.”

“Oh, sweetheart -” Taako’s breath hitches as he feels Magnus’s hand slide up his arm, resting on the back of his neck, the other on his back and holding him close. He leans into the touch. Magnus’s voice nearly breaks with emotion, like words can't contain how much he feels. “You _are_ good, Taako, you’re so, so good, don’t ever think - you’re more than enough, you’re _everything._ ”

Taako sucks in a long, deep breath. As he lets it out he finds himself laughing, and once he starts he can’t stop even when there are tears stinging his eyes, squeezing Magnus tight around the middle. “Jesus, we are _so_ fucked up! Fantasy soap opera levels of bullshit here.”

Magnus is laughing along with him to his surprise, and that _nice_ even if they're mildly hysterical. He feels calloused fingers brush his cheek, tucking a loose lock of hair behind his ears, and opens his eyes and looks up to find Magnus kneeling down and looking at him, so soft and sweet that Taako can barely breathe for a moment. Taako never wants to stop looking at him, never wants to end his day anywhere but here. “Yeah, we are. Guess we’re made for each other.”

“I hope so, cause you - you’re the love of my life,” Taako says, and he has to close his eyes again against the tears that threaten to spill, but he doesn’t wipe them away, doesn’t care anymore if Magnus sees. All the grand plans he’d entertained are gone from his mind, there’s only him and Magnus in the quiet dark of their bedroom, the sun’s last trickle of light coming through the window. “It’s all fucked up but still... I want everything with you. As long as we have left - god, I want to share this giant fucking bed with you.”

Magnus isn’t even trying to hide the tears that roll freely down his cheeks, even as he laughs. He cups Taako’s face in his hands as he peppers his cheeks, his forehead, the corners of his eyes with kisses, and Taako smiles, can’t stop smiling. And maybe he is not the love of Magnus’s life - he knows that title goes to Julia, now - but maybe it doesn’t matter. Different kinds of love, but no better or worse than the other.

“I love you,” Magnus finally says, letting his forehead come to rest against Taako’s, the warmth of their breath mingling between them and their faces wet with the other’s tears. “I will always have you.”

His eyes stinging, still smiling, Taako says, “Do you want to ask, or should I?”

“Hm... I think it’s your turn.”

“Marry me,” he says, without a second of hesitation.

“Yes. Marry me?”

“ _Yes,_ Jesus Christ, get that bad boy on my finger already, been waiting so fuckin’ long -” Magnus interrupts him with a kiss, long and deep and he’s breathless, eyes fluttering closed by the time Magnus breaks away to cross the room, to dig through his dresser until he finds the box. And he kneels on the floor between Taako’s knees, takes the ring from the box with fingers that tremble almost imperceptibly, takes Taako’s hand so gently in his own and slips the ring onto his finger.

It’s a perfect fit, and just as beautiful as he remembers.

He’s distracted looking at it for a moment, finally on his finger where it belongs, until Magnus’s hands, warm and firm, press him back, down into the bare mattress, and Taako lifts himself up on his elbows to watch Magnus ruck up the hem of his shirt to press soft, tickling kisses up his belly, making him jump and laugh too loud as his soft lips brush a ticklish spot. God, but he’s still in _sweatpants,_ hair in a loose, messy bun half-wet from the shower, and he remembers with a start that he hadn’t bothered to put up his glamour, and none of it is how he thought this would go but Magnus lifts his head, tears drying on his face, and he looks at Taako like -

Like Taako in sweatpants is the most beautiful thing Magnus ever seen, like he’s every star in the sky, like he’s magic. His next kiss is right over Taako’s heart, because of course, because his boyfriend is a sap. No. His _fiancee_ is a sap, holy shit. What’s shocking now is the sense of calm washing over him now in the face of this, the rightness.

“Love you too,” Taako whispers, slipping into Elvish easy as breathing, running his hands through Magnus’s thick, messy hair. He doesn’t say it often enough, he knows that. When he does, Magnus’s smile is brighter than the sun. “C’mere.”

Magnus slides further up the bed so that he’s practically covering Taako, taking his hand and letting his thumb brush against the ring that now sits there. The other hand settles at Taako’s hip with a light squeeze. “I’m gonna marry the hell out of you,” he says, with a playful grin that tells Taako he’s going to do a hell of a lot more than that to him.

“Dope,” Taako says, and laughs into the kisses that come after, and he is exactly where he’s supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me up on the tumblr! @androidsfighting.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, by the way! I added a note on the series page with a list of all the fics in their chronological order. So if you want to read them that way, rather than the order I wrote and posted them, that will be there for you to reference! I'll keep it updated whenever I post a new fic.


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